God is a Manc
At the dawn of time before it all began
Before stars and comets
Before the B of the Bang
Before Moisture ether bone and tooth
Before Jesus Mary Joseph the truth
Before creation civilisation
Before the dawn of man
God was putting the final touches to his master plan
But scratching his head and drawing all he could muster
He contemplated the task of building Manchester
Location
Culture
Industry
Its humans
He was paving the pathways and shaping the future
He concluded that Manchester was the most difficult of task
So he rested for a week and like the wedding of Canaan
He saved the best till last
His blood sweat and tears
Gave him an idea
To keep Manchester moist for the majority of the year
America
Russia
Australia
Finland
No, he decided the most appropriate place was the north west of England
Thirty miles from the ocean and by the side of the pennies
Location sussed by quarter past nine
When it came to culture, God left Manchester to itself
Through natural selection the city would develop its own artistic and literary wealth
And that music theatre dance and art
Would flow naturally like blood through every man and woman’s heart
And that working hard was of utmost importance
But so’s a game of footy on a Saturday morning
So by ten o clock the quandary was solved
He’d let Manchester culture slowly evolved
But he did give Manchester one little gift
In the form of a riff and in the form of the quiff
By digging deep and thinking hard
The god given gift to Manchester was Morrissey and Marr
When it came to industry the rain was important
To generate industrial energy by simply using water
So that reservoirs, rivers canals and streams
Would fuel the way to the industrial dream
And the things that die are the things that rise
Like the sun, his son and the soul
So he ensured that underground was seam after seam of coal
So in our back yard and falling from the sky was a natural energy solution
Acting as a catalyst to the industrial revolution
Factories, mills and mines made manc the chimney of the world
To provide employment for man woman boy and girl
For some there’d be fun and for others there’d be sorrow
But what happened in Manchester today
Happens in the rest of the world tomorrow
Exhilarated, exhausted but jubilant
God knew he was onto a winner
He’d created the basic fabric of the city
So he decided to take an early dinner
And with hindsight he’d reserved the afternoon for the most difficult of task bar none
He’d be working late and maybe overtime
Inventing the Manchester of man
After pie chips and gravy and an ice-cold diet coke
HE contemplated
Ummed and aahhed over the peculiar but complex bloke
He focused on the working class
For the middle class he just didn’t have the time
Cos if you trn your back on them they’d rob you and when you turn back they’d be stood there with a smile
He made the Manchester man honest, smart, cunning and brave
Who’d do anything for anyone at any time of day
He made them honourable trusting, chivalrous, loyal, hardworking
And a man who truly loved his kids
Intelligent instinctive, in tune, intuitive
He’d prefer to never take but give
He made him handsome rugged, thoughtful artistic and musically refined
A touch of Rebel without a cause whose in touch with his feminine side
He made him articulate, loving romantic, enchanting, soft to the touch and carrying a smile
Softly spoken, emotionally open an enigma
Sublime.
Genetics sorted
Character defined
A god exhausted but it was quarter to nine
Proud of his creation and of his Manchester man
He rested and suppered
With an ice cold can
When sleeping that night
Cos all gods have to dream
He remembered an earlier plan involving Adam Eve
A serpent an apple and an original sin
So he took his plans for the Manchester man were placed in the bin
From my catholic upbringing
From my Sundays in mass
The hours I spent in my RE class
The questioning, the quandaries the total confusion
Has helped me arrive at a unique conclusion
That God is a Manc
And Mary’s from Gorton
Jesus and Joseph were both born in Moston
Judas Iscariot’s from London – well Luton
He came here to leach when he was a student
The 12 apostles were the original Manchester scuttlers
St Peter from Ancoats
St Paul from Crumpsall
Mary of Magdalene worked on Clayton Vale
She once lived in Lightbowne but then moved to Sale
The three wise men were from Wythenshawe
Benchill, Baguley and Woodhouse Park
They guys who flanked Jesus as he died on the cross
Were from Claremont Rd in the heart of the Moss
Golgotha was the hill at the top of Heaton Park
And the swollen Mersey is where Noah launched the ark
The bible is a wonderful read
But not a book everyone believes
So when I read between the lines
My theological conclusion
Is that God the creator is a Mancunian